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What it means when someone says he needs space in a relationship



  Young man and woman standing face to face, thoughtful expressions

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If your partner says the words, "I need space," do not assume that your relationship People are asking for a room to breathe for many reasons, says Arthur Aron, a professor of social and health psychology at Stony Brook University, and they are not all bad.

A little space may even be healthy. " It's probably good to have a strong connection and interaction with your partner, but also a different space in your life, "says Aron." In fact, that's good for the relationship because it's the growth, the change, and the things into the relationship you have learned and experienced in other parts of your life. "This could mean having the" space "" Speak in your relationship:

Your partner may be lost oren feel.

"It's usually a good thing to be connected, and the more connections you have, the better, but there's a certain extreme point where you feel lost for who you are," says Aron. "They're complete gets entangled in your partner, and at that point it gets uncomfortable and you may want to have some room to be a person. "Spending more time with friends, playing music, meditating, or pursuing other interests on their own can Give your life a certain variety that can make you happy and enrich your relationship.

Your partner may have difficulty approaching someone.

Like many other topics in psychology, this one goes Childhood theme: A person who grew up with parents who were unavailable or abusive may lead to an evasive personality, meaning that they are Just feeling uncomfortable with too close, says Aron. If two partners have evasive personalities, they may need a lot of space.

Your partner may be in an exploration phase.

"Our theory, and one of the key theories in this area, is that one of our main goals in life is to explore and expand ourselves, and that's really good with your partner, but not all your opportunities Partner, "says Aron." You want to have the opportunity to do it yourself. "

Some people just need time alone.

For example, "some highly sensitive people need downtime," says Aron. "They need breaks from everything, including interacting with their partner just because they're so easily overwhelmed." Introverts may also need more time alone and Extroverts require more time in larger groups instead of a one-on-one interview.

How to figure out how much space you need in a relationship.

Each person defines the space slightly differently, and the amount needed may vary from pair to pair and from time to time, says Aron. For example, if you travel a lot to work, you may want to be tied to your hips when you finally see your partner. However, if you and your partner work side by side from 9:00 am to 5:00 am, your Saturday morning routine could begin with solo time. Her hobbies can sometimes also diverge. "It opens up new opportunities that are interesting to you and that your partner does not share or that are not meaningful to your partner," he says, "and there are other situations where you feel lonely.

How to tell your partner that you need space.

If you feel you need space, tell your partner, "It's not that you need to be as far from them as you need time alone or do something. It makes no sense to do it together "Says Aron. Make it clear that you are looking for opportunities that will benefit you and your relationship. "You want to make your life stronger so you can share more with your partner," says Aron. Assure them that you are not looking for a way to cheat or terminate the relationship.


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