It's that time again! Time to focus on the new year, the new ego – and never mess up a workout schedule again, right? Well, not really.
First of all, January 1st is an arbitrary date to start something. You can always start with anything that is in your life, always . But New Year's Eve is still a great opportunity to think about what you might want to include in your life as you get inspired by the holiday mood and New Year's Dynamics around you.
When we make resolutions, we may ask some deep questions like, "What do I want from the New Year, who do I want to become, what do I want to change most about my habits?"
But most of the time we go back to the loop of thinking about the two. Three things we always want to change: Save more money, take time for a Passion project, lose a few pounds, and create a healthy routine that actually lasts .
People I coach, the more I find that people do not make any intentions – because they fail. However, I've found that the problem is rarely that the solution is too harsh, stale, uninspired, or vague. It's the same stuff, different year. We have to stir it up!
Here is a fun exercise that I perform as a trainer to turn the solution process upside down and get someone out of a new, tangible solution idea. Ask:
What is your anti-resolution?
This is the worst resolution you could make because it could make you unhappy.
Some answers that came up:
"Leaving the office later and my toddler going to bed, zero nights out of five!"
"Worrying about being single!"
"Take even less vacation days than I already do – and see even less of the world!"
"Gossip more and feel worse afterwards" (19459023 )
Here are many real answers coming up! It's a great indication of what we may really need to change in our lives – and often something that we have not thought of bubbles up.
Try this exercise with a friend – you'll probably laugh if you do (that's OK) but stick with it! I did this with a close buddy and realized that I definitely do not need :
- Yes to say more to people / possibilities (oh, the disease that I'm still testing)!
- More sweets eat at night (damn, I love it).
- Sleep longer than I already.
- Drink more wine.
- Enter more money aimlessly online, especially after 9pm (and often after that wine).
What could these insights form for me in terms of a particular resolution? Stop wine or sweets in the house? Do you decide for a solid bedtime and a relaxing bedtime? Completely delete my online shopping apps? Confession to a firm "no" when an opportunity arises … unless my intuition brings me a full body yes?
You can play with it and have fun. The aha! There will be moments in it – and they will guide you to what is right for you. However, if it is not your business to have a New Year's Eve (I understand it), then you can try something different as well.
You can have one word: a simple word that can set your year. What do you want more? Your word need not make sense to anyone but you. What is a great centering word that only feels right ?
Here are some suggestions:
Feeling smothered? Create .
A bit cynical? Joy .
Too hard for you? Ease .
Uptight? Breathe .
To play safely? Risk.
Too skeptical? Belief .
A little serious? Laugh.
Ready for more? Dare .
Do not you feel safe? Trust .
What is there to do? Act .
This year was my word "experiment". It really took some of the pressure off me when I launched products in my shop, had fun, attended various live events, and even spent a month abroad. The word "experiment" spoke to me because it meant "trying something new, playing! Enjoying – no matter what." When I lost the attachment to the result, I felt free and encouraged.
What is your anti-resolution or your word? Maybe you can have both. It pays to throw everything for self-improvement. Why not? And remember, your time is your most important asset. You do not have to wait until January 1 rolls around – you can start today.
Susie Moore is the Greatists columnist for life coach and trust coach in New York City. Sign up for free wellness tips on their website and visit the latest "No Regrets" section every Tuesday.