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Should I see my friend's therapist? Here's why this can be a bad idea



You've made the decision: After years of thinking and telling yourself that you could do it all yourself, you've finally decided that you (and must) seek a therapist (19459004). Now you really have to find someone you can see.

Honestly, you do not even know where to start. So you go to your usual sources, right? You start with a simple online search, and that's incredibly confusing. You then pull out your insurance card and call your insurance company. Between the hours of music-on-hold and the long, unorganized list of names online you give up.

Frustrated, you start to cheer a friend / classmate / cousin / colleague, and they mention how much they love their therapist and feel completely understood by them. They even recommend that you also see this therapist. Before you jump with pleasure at possibly ending this search process, take a break and wonder if this idea requires more thought …

Even though therapists are committed to confidentiality this is real a good idea to see the same therapist as someone you know well

In many cases and situations where access to care is limited – on a college campus or in a community with few resources – some people probably have no choice but to see the same provider as other people with whom they have a relationship.

However, if you are in a position where other therapists are available and at your disposal (even if it is a therapy) (annoying or difficult process to land someone), you should be careful about it think before you decide on a therapist with whom someone in your area is already working.

Here are some things to think about when making this decision. 19659008] First, it might be funny for the person watching this therapist.

Before making an appointment, you should contact your friend / colleague / ex / etc. Once again, if they are in conflict because you are both working with the same therapist.

Let's say we are talking about a friend in this example. Although your friend is unlikely to have lied to you when you suggested your therapist, the relationship between therapist and patient is quite sacred to people. It really is not the same as simply presenting one person you like to another.

The moment you suggested a psychiatrist, your friend might not have thought too much about the idea. In fact, this definitely requires more inquiries and check-in with each other. I'm not saying that you have to ask 100 times for the blessing and safety of your friend, but it's probably worth thinking about – and taking your time.

You can explain that you know that the relationship is important (and please admit that they can even talk about you in a meeting, and that's fine!). So it's up to them whether they want to go to the same person or not. Then emphasize that there is no question of the reason or any hard feelings if they decide to change their minds.

Some therapists have a rule.

Due to confidentiality laws, the therapist will not recognize if you also see that other person you know. And, of course, the psychiatrist is required by law to keep information from meetings private and protected, making it easier to fully maintain neutrality.

But, you know, it's not always an easy task to master often. The therapist will schedule friends on different days to maintain a degree of separation. It takes a lot of work on the part of the therapist to stay neutral and not miss anything from the other person's sessions (even a seemingly casual comment like "I know", "I heard" or "I remember"). [19659018] Some therapists have their own rules against working with people within the same social circle or family. So if this therapist has his own reasons for not seeing a friend of a patient, it may help ease the decision for both.

Although it is not unethical to see friends of friends, some therapists do not want to do so given the sacredness of every relationship. In some cases, a therapist may not want to work with two people who are close to each other when they really feel that they can not remain impartial. For example, as therapists, we will not offer a couple therapy to a couple if we already see one person as a patient one-to-one (it may look like the therapist is biased, even if they are not). Or, if we already see a couple, we would normally not see the partners individually in the consultation.

Another extreme example: a therapist sees neither a rape survivor nor his rapist or a person who has been violently injured and the person who committed the crime. Under these circumstances, the therapist may simply have to tell you that there is a conflict and that he can not be your provider.

Ethically, they can not say what exactly this conflict is, but he is bound to give you something with recommendations. This termination of the relationship may even take place in several sessions since this information may not be recognized at startup. However, keeping both patients in a sensitive situation (as exemplified by two people involved in a sexual assault) would obviously not be productive or healthy for both parties. The purpose is that both people are treated better, not worse.

Of course, in the case of a friendship, not every situation of going to the same provider is clear to the therapist (eg, what if you were going to go) to your friend's therapist, without knowing it Was your friend's therapist and somehow discovered over time?). I have seen situations in which this realization emerges after a relationship with the therapist for each friend was developed individually. Under these circumstances, a utility company is less likely to see an end to you.

One option for deeper consideration before you both make a decision that you could suggest to your acquaintance would be that they would talk to a therapist about this dilemma in session. There they could work out the positive and negative results of the decision and find out their true feelings and those of the therapist.

And think about whether you could bring that person into therapy.

Really, the most important question you should ask yourself is: do you want to talk about that particular person in therapy – possibly in a negative way?

Imagine being in a meeting and talking poorly about your friend or boss. or teammates. After listening to you, your therapist answers. When you know that you are working with your friend, analyze any conversations, comments, or answers that you make about that person or your relationship.

For example, you might feel like a comment that just your [19659031] thinking was actually your therapist who adopted that other person's side. Or you may feel that the wrong information was received from your best friend, and this turns their view on you. Because you know that they see that other person (and can not talk to you about it), it may feel like you are actually speaking to you based on the knowledge of the other person's sessions.

Although your therapist would naturally deny this and, frankly, their absolute best not to do so and always remain completely neutral, the slightest hint of these feelings may be in a relationship between therapist and Patient completely destroy the trust. It can feed into other conversations and other challenges, or could make you not discuss your friend at all, even though this really needs to be discussed in the session.

Finally, you want to feel that working with a therapist is completely unbiased, comfortable, and trusting.

If you "share" a therapist with someone you mistake in any way, find someone else if you can.

Every good therapist will work to be totally impartial. But even with that in mind, it can be really hard to lose the feeling that they can not stay neutral when they know they hear information from multiple sources that are close together.

I would suggest judging how close you really are to this person who recommended your therapist (if it's someone you're not in contact with too often and it happens occasionally, it could be for both of you Be an advantage!). And if you have a close relationship, talk to them openly and see if they are willing to talk to the therapist before making your first appointment. And if you have a complicated or antagonistic relationship with that person, I would advise against it.

Trust is everything in therapy. Without them, it probably will not be very successful.

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