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Talking to a friend about his depression can be intimidating, but yours can be intimidating Showing support is the discomfort of your condition, asking them what they need, and then really Listening is a solid beginning (See: 5 Ways to Support a Loved One Who Has to Fight Depression )
Worried about what NOT to say? Short answer: Everything that is critical or judgmental. Unfortunately, well-intentioned comments can be both. Read this advice about what you should not say ̵
"Just cheer up."
"Never say anything in this direction, rather say things like," Even if it feels like that, I promise you are not alone "or" I hear you, what can I do to help? "Depression is heavy, it's dark, it's deep, it lingers. It should not be kept to a minimum – and if someone is struggling with depression (or anything of that nature) while you are not, it can be difficult being there to form relationships or imagine, if it's there for you, it's everywhere – and most importantly (for me) is the need to not feel alone because it's one of the most isolated experiences. "- Anna; Richmond, VA
"You are too much for me to deal with."
"When I heard that, it felt like my depression is a problem for other people, which leads to more stress because of me Sometimes people are trying to find solutions, such as breathing techniques or exercises, and I'd rather say, "Would you like me to listen to you, or would you like me to try to give you helpful techniques?" # 39; In this way, I know that they are trying to hear me instead of silencing me, listening to someone who only talks about what he's going through is great being a depressive one often can do hard because he thinks he's only expressing his feelings on other people. " -Erica; Los Angeles Related: Why is it so hard to arrange your first appointment?)
"You have nothing to be sad about."
"More than likely, the person already knows that she has no direct reason to feel depressed, and someone who reminds her can feel guilty and make it worse, instead just affirm how she does Feel, tell them that although things are bad right now, you are there to help. " – Madison; Oregon, OH
"There are people who are much worse off than you."
"Probably, this statement can apply to anyone, but pain is not competition, we're not competing for who suffers the most or who cares Pain is pain, and although someone may indeed be worse than you, it does not mean that your suffering (mentally or physically) is invalid, and your pain, no matter how big or small, deserves attention . " – Stephina Katrina; Sudbury, ON, Canada (See also: ) This study shows how extreme the problem of mental health is in the US)
"Why do not you try to be more positive?"
"To tell a friend that he is more positive in dealing with depression is one of the most irritating comments ever . Trust me when I say that we have done absolutely everything to be more positive Sometimes it just does not work – being positive does not pull a person out of depression, it changes their perspective on their current situation, which in turn invalidates the process of depressive episodes. "- Mia; Willenhall, UK
"If it were easy to unsnack it or feel better, we would of course do it or not, so if you do not hear it, it will not So bad or okay, this will have the opposite effect of making us feel better and go crazy! As someone who suffers from both anxiety and depression, it's all I need when I am I know people are there when I want help. " – Alida; Brantford, ON, Canada (Related: Why should you stop being afraid to tell them if you really do not)
"They are overreacting."
"The daily life being diagnosed with a bipolar 1 disorder requires work every day and often my mental illness is not taken seriously, which, in my opinion, is largely due to my being" too functional " and confidently make a brave face when I'm actually dying, please do not tell me I'm dramatic, it's time to override the termination of mental health, depression is real and unfortunately is often misunderstood. So remember to be attentive when trying to offer advice or support. "- Dani; Virginia Beach, VA
Advice on how to be happier
"Check your own discomfort People often work so quickly to relieve the sadness of their friend, as these heavier emotions affect people Do not assume your friend is looking for solutions if he really needs empathy, do not urge them to bring happiness to you, because it's so hard to see how they get hurt. " – Kiki; Oakland, CA
"Saying nothing is as bad as saying something deceptive, such as" you're gonna snap it out. "Either you're uncomfortable, you do not want to address it, what selfish, or you are afraid it might get worse, what we really need is just a friend who will be there and listen. " -Erin; Chicago
If you or someone you love is depressed and considering suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.