There is nothing sexual about cuddling, but sometimes it is difficult to get this memo into the penis. These notoriously touch-sensitive organs love to appear uninvited at the party – especially parties where there is physical contact.
Ultimately, an unwanted boner is not a big deal and definitely not something to be ashamed of. But sometimes it's nice to get all those blurry oxytocin feelings without an overly zealous penis dominating the moment.
So first a toast to the unique joy of Platonic intimacy. Next, read these tips on non-sexual cuddling, also known as keeping this boner at bay. Also how to stay calm and move forward when it comes up.
This is the key, bbs. Touching and grazing is often enough to elicit an erection. You should therefore avoid any position in which the penis is pressed against the other person's body.
There are countless bone-safe snuggle options, but here are some of our favorites.
The inverted spoon
There is really nothing better than the full body contact that spooning offers. In the event that there is only one penis owner in a duo, that person must be the little spoon.
The head in your lap
Of course, this only works if a person in the couple doesn't have a penis, but we love this position because it's easy to talk to each other, and if it seems appropriate, you can give the person who lies down, easily give a head massage. Who doesn't like a head massage?
The Cradle of the Treasure
This position is a bedtime classic and a great option for a Platonic love. Leave the person with a penis on their back while the other person's head rests on the chest. The person lying down can also put their arm around the other person's shoulders to get closer.
One way to keep the mood friendly rather than sexy is to opt for more public space like the living room. If you're behind closed doors, the mood may feel more sensual by nature.
If for any reason a person decides to stop cuddling, they are already in neutral territory.
If you focus on talking to your cuddly friend, this can be a great way to distract yourself from any arousal feelings. Or if you have a TV show or movie that you know dominates your attention, suggest putting it on.
Deep breathing is known to slow down a racing heart and lower blood pressure. By focusing on your breath, you can distract yourself from all exciting thoughts. A simple technique is called boxed breathing. Here's how:
- Breathe deeply through your nose and belly.
- Hold your breath four times at the top.
- Breathe all air out of your mouth from number four.
- Hold your breath until four count.
If you go through all of these suggestions and still have an erection, don't panic! Bones are a normal body function and many erections are not sexually motivated at all.
We cannot emphasize enough not to be ashamed or ashamed. Here are some tips on how to get ahead.
. Confirm it
It may be the least uncomfortable to just tell your partner what's going on. You could even try to joke about it if jokes are your thing. After all, cuddling is about connection and intimacy. So you have a moment of vulnerability to: Your boner may be entirely in context.
Proverbs to try
If an erection occurs, here are some ideas on how to approach it calmly and caringly.
If you are the one with the boner:
- “So this is a bit cumbersome. I'm getting tough. Let's try changing positions to see if that helps. "
- " Welp, it looks like my penis hasn't received the message that this is friendly cuddling. Let me go to the toilet to see if I can calm things down. "
- " It's so nice to have this moment with you. Looks like I'm going to be tough. Would you be comfortable if you put a pillow between us? If not, let's take a break now. "
If you feel like someone else is getting a boner:
- " I notice that you are getting tough. Maybe we should try to put a pillow between us so that there is less contact. "
- " I really like to cuddle with you, but I notice that the position we are in makes you hard. Let's try something else. "
- " It was really nice to cuddle with you. Since I notice you are getting a boner, maybe we should take a break first. "
2. Don't try to hide it.
First of all, you probably won't be able to do this very effectively, and even if you could, the effort to hide a boner is likely to interfere with the positive experience of cuddling.
3. Change positions
Suggest positions or place a pillow between your bodies. Of course, this is not about hiding it from the other person, it should only happen if both parties agree.
If you want to keep cuddling, try to keep yourself private for a moment. You don't even have to explain to your partner what's going on if you don't like to talk about it. Just say you're making a sandwich. Ask if you want one too!
If you have arrived here and are still feeling uncomfortable with the possibility of getting an unintended boner – or if your friend gets one – don't force him. The well-being of everyone with physical intimacy is different. It is not necessary to judge the experience.
Instead, consider talking only to your roommates. Verbal communication can be an incredibly powerful form of intimacy.
It is about caring for my loved ones and the people you are close to in any form that you think is right.
Andrea McGinty is a writer and artist living in Queens, New York. She writes about home, wellness and relationships. Her work can be found at andreamcginty.xyz and any of her thoughts can be found @lifecreep .