In a recent moment of nostalgia, I read an old favorite, Charlotte's Web. And when Charlotte essentially sacrifices her life to save her best friend, Wilbur (sorry for the spoiler, if a book published in 1952 can still have spoilers), it still upsets me ,
As an adult, it made me think: In a world where you can have more than 3,000 online friendships, what makes a true, true and lasting friendship?
Yes, there are lots of friends peppering our world. Celebrate friends, business friends, cool colleagues, with whom you have caught a cold after work. But what makes a real trip [oder Würfel]
? You can show them all the pages of you.
A true friend is not just there for the good times: celebrating, happy events, when you're in a good mood … in times of pain and uncertainty and failure. This is often the case when we need our friends the most
Who will contact you regularly if you are ill? Who brings you to the airport when you are stressed? Who listens when you have to chatter about your boss? Who visits the funeral of a relative with you? Friendship is multi-dimensional and a privilege 365 days a year.
. 2 They do not judge you.
Trust is created when you can be hit without judgment, no matter what. When something embarrassing, annoying or terrible happens (may you have made a bad decision or trusted the wrong person?) Or something goes awry and you can not handle it alone, a real friend listens without judging. Brene Brown says we are blessed to have only one or two friends to whom we can entrust our "shame stories".
"Most of us can row over these friends as we work to gain the approval and acceptance of people Who really does not care in our lives – people we never have called when we were in a real fight, "she says.
To whom can you entrust something that feels ugly?
. 3 They speak the truth (even if it hurts).
I once told my best friend that she could not complain about her boyfriend anymore. They were up and down again, and he was abused at the border. She shouted and cried and came over and cried. We drank wine and she simply repeated herself – he does that, he does that. I held up a mirror. I said, "If you continue to choose him, you can not complain to me, you know how I feel, I will not listen, this relationship is your choice."
She said this "shock treatment" helped her to end her relationship once and for all, caring love is a sign of a true friend.
4. They want good things for you.
When I was promoted, I once felt warning bells and was a little afraid to tell my girlfriend Dina, I knew she would make it and she would feel bad, the conversation was not about to get me up It's about why she's not ahead, I'd have to (reassure) her.
A true ride or cube is not a worry that you're outshining her, because they also know you're happy when that Life goes well (and unfortunately many friends do not) True friends celebrate their successes, help wherever they can, and in cases of doubt remind them who you are. And what kind of friendship te be better or more supportive than that?
When Spider Charlotte talks to her friend for the last time, and asks what he can do for her, she says, "They were my friend," Charlotte replied. "That in itself is an enormous thing." It's true, a real litter is incredible.
Susie Moore is the Greatists columnist for life coach and trust coach in New York City. Sign up for free wellness tips on their website and visit the latest "No Regrets" section every Tuesday.