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Bottles are a stupid gift and you should stop giving them to people

There are more bottles in my house than bottles of alcohol. I have big bottles and small bottles. Bottles with my initials engraved on them. Plastic bottle. Wood bottles. Shiny bottles. A bottle with an embossed wolf. My home is teeming with bottles because part of my responsibilities as a magazine editor is of course the liquor industry, but it's also the present for men who wear them I do not know very well. ("He's a man, is not he, bring him a bottle!") And I tell you, my life is full of people who do not know me very well.

I get these bottles, but 1

9459003 I do not get these bottles. I mean, I understand their purported purpose: getting alcohol out of you – usually when you're wearing a suit. The problem is, if you segregate alcohol into anything but a prison in the 1930s, this is probably not an inappropriate program. If you find yourself in a situation that would dramatically improve if you drink a few ounces of alcohol floating in a container that makes you look like your pacemaker is trying to escape, then ask yourself: A. Had I agree to it? Event? B. Is alcohol really the answer? And C. Where is the next bar?

Also, if you do not wear a huge sack suit (which you are not), the bottle will create an unsightly bulge on your chest. Or, worse, you're carrying it in your thigh pocket, and then you have a thigh camber, and that's fine, I'll let our fashion editors do it.

The piston requires far too much consideration. It also requires a funnel. And it requires a cynicism over the coming hours. But the bottle is just a symptom of a much bigger problem: it's really hard for men to buy gifts. We are. That's because we do not usually help.

Let me help you. These are all better gift options for men than a bottle:

• A really nice water bottle
• Something that appeals to a very specific interest that you're sure he really has. Does he have weightlifting? Gloves whistles knife. Stamps? Tweezers. Tweezers? Stamps.
• Everything on this list (except the bottle)
• Everything related to shaving

I have never received a shaving gift that I did not love. Does it seem a bit generic? Yes, but for the non-bearded man, shaving is all suffering and necessity. Anything that does this job and makes it better or easier is welcome.

But really, men want the gift everyone wants: One that says, "I thought of you for 30 seconds and then spent a few seconds thinking about your desires and excitement and then spent about three For a second, I thought about how much money I wanted to spend on you, ranging from $ 25 to $ 40, and spent about ten seconds on Amazon Prime Primeing.

Here are the better gifts.

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