In the annals of sports history, baseball (the only sport in which the word “annals” can be used) is possibly the closest pastime Americans have to religion – with statisticians doing monk-like exegeses on scorebooks and everyone who does baseball – Quotes as the Scriptures repeat. So spoke Yogi.
And if there ever was a baseball season to remember and cite, let’s take a look at it now: 2020, the Book of Revelations of Baseball. (And so the man named Fauci, sent to clear the earth of the petulant, let the first field fly, and the name on the ball was Death, and Blue Jay̵
That’s right, it’s August and we’re now officially in the middle of the 2020 MLB season. The season has been downgraded to just 60 games (or upgraded for some of us) because – well, you now know exactly why it all is on planet earth – which is why we have mid-season teams with records that look more like extra inning baseball results than actual records: 14-16 (for the San Francisco Giants), 16-12 (for the Atlanta Braves) and for the St. Louis Cardinals only 10-8 (missing) Weeks due to a COVID outbreak will have this effect).
Some highlights so far: cardboard clippings from fans that look scary AF, a giant teddy bear pounding a lazy ball in its head like an absolute champion, an MLB record for consecutive home runs, and a whole load of duplicate headers to come. It’s going to be a strange October.
We thought it would be a good time to stop and take some readings of sacred works and prophets of baseball. Here are 30 baseball quotes. Some are real. Some are fiction. Some are probably a bit of both.
Let’s start with the book of Yogi Proverbs. Brothers and sisters, remember:
“It is not over till it’s over.”
“You can observe a lot just by watching.”
“Baseball is 90% mental and the other half is physical.”
“I knew the record would stand until it was broken.”
“How can you think and hit at the same time?”
“You wouldn’t have won if we had beaten you.”
“When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”
“You don’t know anything in baseball.”
First League and other films …
“Juuuuuust a little bit outside.” ~ Harry Doyle, First League
“He’s going to need a missile in his ass to catch this. the baby is out of here. “ ~ Harry Doyle, First League
“OK, we won a game yesterday. If we win today it will be two in a row. And if we win again tomorrow, we speak of a “winning streak” … that has happened before! “ ~ Lou Brown, Major League II
“You don’t cry in baseball!” ~ Jimmy Dugan, A league of its own
“I only know if we win a game it’s a team win. If we lose a game, it’s a team loss.”“” ~ Coach Morris Buttermaker, The bears of bad news
“Legends never die.” ~ The baby, The sandbar
“How can you not get romantic about baseball?” ~ Billy Beane, Moneyball
“Do you know what we have to do today, Brooks? We can play baseball.” ~ Jimmy, The beginner
Players, coaches, referees and fans
“For me, baseball was, is and always will be the best game in the world.” ~ Babe Ruth
“Playing baseball is like stealing a license.” ~ Pete Rose
“Fans boo no nobodies.” ~ Reggie Jackson
“I think I was the best baseball player I’ve ever seen.” ~ Willie Mays
“Baseball is the only business field where a man can be successful three times out of ten and be considered a good player.” – Ted Williams
“It’s nothing until I name it.” ~ Referee, Bill Klem
“A hot dog at the game beats roast beef in the Ritz.” ~ Humphrey Bogar
“Close doesn’t count in baseball. Close only counts on horseshoes and grenades.” ~ Frank Robinson
“Baseball, they say, is just a game. That’s right. And the Grand Canyon is just a hole in Arizona.” ~ George Will
“Baseball is like a church. Many attend but few understand.” ~ Leo Ernest Durocher
“If you want to get to know the heart and mind of America, you’d better learn baseball.” ~ Jacques Barzun
“There are only two seasons: winter and baseball.” ~ Bill Veeck, Jr.
“People ask me what I do in winter when there is no baseball. I’ll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring.” ~ Rogers Hornsby
Dr. Anthony Fauci
“I completely destroyed my arm!”
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