What is the most painful thing you can remember? Get stung by a swarm of bees? To break a limb? You were dismissed by a guy named Jeremy during school dance while "Love Hurts" was playing? Well, one of the memories many women put on this list is the birth of a child.
I had a C-section to release my (only) child, a son. And apart from the IV, where too many attempts were made to put it in the right place, and the doctor poked around to see if my cervix was still ripened by cervidil, the rest, I believe, was bearable , Even the two-day labor was not much worse than bad convulsions. I had an epidural and got morphine when I entered the operating room, and I did not feel like the doctor cut into my stomach, tearing their hands inside of me or any of the other things they did during a day Cesarean section (which, I hear, was compared to an autopsy.)
It was not until I came home and tried to do seemingly ordinary things, like sitting, standing, or walking, that I began to experience the pain. which was tantalizing even with the tylenol with codeine that they had prescribed for me. For me, the cesarean section was ultimately so scary, unexpected, dramatic, intense and painful (in the episode) that I can honestly say that I did not enjoy my birth experience ̵
I'm thrilled to be a mother and grateful for the technology and the operation, because who knows what would have happened without it.
For a while I was really at the fence having only one child. And that is a general puzzle for many parents. Do you have only one or two children? Or more? For people like me who have had a hard time delivering, there is this additional element of fear. In addition, it was not easy for my husband, and he still experiences persistent emotional effects and anxiety that make him less thrilled for baby number two. But many women will tell me, "Oh, do not worry! Your body totally forgets! "
Uh, forget what? Do women really forget the pain of contractions or the consequences of a caesarean section? The Postpartum Hell ? It's been almost two years, and I certainly have not.
So I went and looked for the answer to that question, and it's the one you might have guessed: many mothers forget and some do not.  Megan, mother and actress, who had a vaginal delivery on both occasions, says that both of them consider her work experience good, which means there were no major issues. The pain was real, but it feels like she has forgotten or at least distanced herself from the experience on some level. "I can remember that both times, when I legitimately thought I was dying from the pain, and that I would never come back from the pain cave where I was locked up," she says. "But even after about three months after giving birth, I could not connect with him anymore and started to think," How bad could it really have been?
Other women agree that they did not forget their work experiences, the sensations of actual pain they felt were not something they had been holding on to. "I forgot the feeling of pain but not the reminder, if that makes sense, "Julie, a retail manager and mother of a toddler, tells me. (She had an emergency department.) Jaika, a 37-year-old mother of two, given vaginally, repeats her feelings: "I forgot the pain, but I remember the experience was very painful."
Annie, a UX researcher and mother of two, says she has definitely forgotten or blocked the vivid memories of her first vaginal delivery – so much so that she felt completely shocking and fresh on her second vaginal delivery. "The second time I could not believe how much it hurt It was like nothing I ever felt. But the second time was actually much simpler, I had simply forgotten how it felt. "
But then there are people who are more like me and who do not feel so disconnected from the pain. Take Kristen, 38, a mother who stays at home, clearly remembering a notorious aspect of her two vaginal liberation: "I'll never forget how the step of fire in step of the fire is lost in step, as both babies Heads for two came apart, two and a half years apart. "
Maddie recalls, like some other women I've talked to, about painful things that have separated themselves from the actual intensity of contractions and their vagina delivery. "Interestingly enough, my innermost memories of the unemployed parts, such as the terrible catheter that was inserted incorrectly … and the episiotomy ," explains the 32-year-old mother. "But the contractions do not hurt so much. I remember it was awful. But my body can not associate the pain with any kind of physical memory.
Melissa, who has a son she vaginally administered, had contractions for 59 hours. "I do not remember the pain," she says. "I remember became pain . I only had pain. I met the end of myself. "
There is no undisputed scientific reason why some of these (happy) women eventually broke away from the pain points of birth and the postpartum period, although there are theories.
Jennifer Conti, MD, clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Stanford University and co-host of the podcast (V-Word ), says SELF that this concept of separation from the inconvenience of childbirth does not well studied. However, she does assume that the survival of our species may depend on the idea that a woman would forget the pain of birth and childbirth. "Evolutionarily, it makes sense anyway," she explains. "If you can not remember how intense your [birth experience] was, you probably will probably repeat it again and reproduce yourself."
Dr. Conti says that women often do not think anecdotally about pain in detail. "I often hear that women say that they can remember that they had pain during labor, but they can not remember their perception or intensity so well. On the other hand, there are women who swear to remember the event as if it were yesterday. "She says that the hormone oxytocin – what causes contractions – could play a role in this phenomenon," but it's not well understood. "
As we have learned from the different memories and because women have so many different birth experiences, there is no clear way to confirm that this notion of women forgetting the pain of work is true. because it is a completely unique and different experience for each person. A study in which women in Sweden were interviewed two months after delivery (but not women who had a compulsory elective period) suggested that a woman's memory of labor pain had something specifically to do with her could be first general reaction of this particular birth experience. In other words, if a person judged their birth experience as positive, when they considered it two months later, their pain was less and less appreciated over time (they were questioned again one year and five years later), more than in humans who felt negative about their birth process.
It is also noteworthy that not all humans receive the same pain interventions during birth or even treat or tolerate pain in the same way. Other women just do not have a bad or extremely painful work experience because the pain and how each one deals with it is a very personal thing.
So you could say it's all a question of perspective. Every woman has pain during labor, but her personal experience influences her memories.
Your memories may even be influenced by factors such as the way you have been treated by hospital staff, the comfort of your accommodations, and the people you've shared with your hospital, with the food you've got emotional state, whether you were a spouse or family member in labor or whether or not you had a vagina or caesarean section, among many other things.
For me, this was certainly not as much fun as saying margaritas slurping next to a pool or eating pizza while watching Netflix. Although there is virtually no easy way, the pros outweighed the disadvantages (a nice, soft baby, come on). I'm just not in the mood to do it again at this point.
However, when approaching your first delivery, you should prepare to have some terribly vivid memories of it maybe up to half a decade later and maybe never want to have or possibly love another child and have 10 more children want. And in case you really want to make sure you do not forget anything, bring a pen with you.