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A psychologist explains how to overcome a loss of play and win again



Having recently missed the Bears' 43-yard field goal, kicker Cody Parkey (26) left the Chicago stadium under a shower of boos, then death threats and now memes – and all that despite the fact that the field goal was actually tipped on the line and Parkey himself scored more points against the Eagles that night than the Bears' entire attack (9 vs. 6).

Whether Parkey had missed the game, he undoubtedly felt like he was, a sentiment cosmically returned to the Eagles last Sunday when Alshon Jeffery, one of the League's best recipients, allowed Nick Foles to pass to distract his hands and into the corner of Marshon Lattimore: game over. Jeffery was on the pitch half a minute after the game and returned to the sideline, where Doug Pederson immediately hugged him with red eyes.

Yes, it was a tough weekend for athletes. Obviously nobody wants to lose a game due to a mistake (or thinks one did). And yet we were all there ̵

1; as players, coaches, overly emotional parents and fans.

"You will be flooded with these really unpleasant, tormenting feelings," says Lisa M. Stephen. Ph.D., a New England Peak Performance Coach and Licensed Psychologist. "Allow yourself to feel what you feel – the fear, the anger (with yourself, with other people) – it does not have to be reasonable. Feel it and look at what you are going to do . "

So, whether you happen to be collecting points in a field or otherwise sympathizing with the lost nobles, you should get your mind off the playbook and take notes. Your mental health – and even your career – could depend on it.

If you're a player …

Some athletes can stabilize and get stressed, while others may turn into negative thinking, including acute anxiety or depressive feelings, according to Stephen. How you respond to failure determines both current and long-term health and athletic performance. The most successful athletes will face these obstacles while at the same time navigating (1) the current defeat and normalize and (2) position themselves for future success.

"Allow yourself to feel what you feel, then look at what you will do."

. 1 The Current Failure

The first hurtle, after the mistake and anger, frustration and long journey home, tries to put your mistake into context. "Recognize that these things happen to all players in a variety of situations," Stephen advises, "and that it's normal to take part in contests."

It takes some work to get there. First, you want to mitigate as little unconstructive criticism as possible, and instead look for reliable sources of support that you can build, but not wrong. The key is to develop and identify true statements about yourself that contradict negative insight. These findings are beliefs like "I have no talent. I am a terrible player. "If you are an athlete playing at a high level, this is unlikely. "Look at the true data," Stephen says, like videos of you and game stats. Work on a more realistic assessment: "I failed. It happens to everyone. "

Recognizing true statements also helps you to view mistakes as anomalistic. In your head, failure should be the exception to the rule, not the rule itself, says Stephen. If you come to that conclusion, you may even see the failure as an integral part of your game – and even Michael Jordan missed 26 potentially winning shots ("I've failed again and again in my life …" and that's why I succeed. ") Failure can account for some of the most humiliating and pathetic moments in sport – and those that show the kind of competitors you are.

Failure should be the exception, in your opinion The rule and not the rule itself.

For younger athletes without robust statistic sheets (and even for the elite), visualization exercises can also help overcome fear of play or disappointment. Imagine moments when you've played well when you're "in it" – performing at its peak. Think of this as "success control". (Having fun can be an important marker for those moments, when did you enjoy the performance?) Look, when you've done this three-point shot and ask yourself: How did my body feel? did I think? Continue to alert your brain to these highlights.

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			<span class= Getty Images Chris Graythen

2. Future success

Now you have to build the hardest part of the end of season error is the Athletes have to wait awhile But an athlete can use that and turn them into a kind of target. "If there is information that can be learned from the mistake or incident," says Stephen. "You can incorporate that into your education: what work I towards ? What do I have to do now now ? "

It's not about suppressing the mistake, it's about suppressing the error then building on it.

The future orientation remains for an athlete Defective orientation can release stress hormones, increase anxiety, and actually prevent you from improving your physical condition The brain is not prepared to learn, "says Stephen. So calm down to the first and necessary condition for a sporty improvement. It's not about suppressing the mistake, it's about contextualising and building context, leaving behind stress reactions. Reactions continue when you develop thoughts that are related to your safety, when your thoughts affect your ability, Doing other things, or observing an emotional digression – increased anxiety, less sleep hours e night, continued loss of appetite, more depressive feelings – seek help.

Since future performance and well-being depend on your reactions, you should not only be of you to detect the importance of discouraging negativity and non-constructive criticism; Your mentors, like you, should be committed to positivity.

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			<span class= Getty Images [19659018] Abbie Parr

If you're parent or trainer …

The last thing you want to do is rip down your player (or, Yeesh, your kid) "There are very few top athletes I've ever met And they do not know that they have just made a big mistake, "says Stephen." During a game, the most important thing the coach can do. focus on what is to do, because they will focus on what just went wrong . "When a player is put back in a goal-oriented mindset, the head remains in the mind game where it belongs. More precisely, it keeps its head always forward-looking and away from the stress and fear of being in the mistakes of the past.

You can not compete without error.

If the game ends with the error, you immediately begin to determine the context for the player: That's what the game is about. People make mistakes in games; You can not compete without mistakes. These may sound like beaten rushes, but they also help with healing. "If you have a strong emotional response – and you will be coaching – then regulate. Take care of it before talking to the athlete so that what you say is productive and helpful, "says Stephen. We all need to understand that competitions are sometimes decided by mistake. "Adults always have a responsibility to think about how they regulate their own behavior and what comes out of their mouths." Their words could be repeated in the eyes of an athlete for the games to come.

Then there is the drive home, the possible scene of so many verbal parental maltreatments. Of course every athlete is different and if you are wondering if you want to start the game, check in and ask: what do you need now? Maybe they have to pick up a ball and restore confidence. Maybe they have to be left alone. "The important thing is to realize that this is not your game. "That's your child's game," says Stephen. "If you want to vent because you have paid all the money for this travel league, get support, talk to other parents, let off some steam and approach your child if you have more levels – headed." You can More than harming their future athletic performance and reintroducing stress and anxiety, and perhaps you have influenced your child's performance in the first place, this phenomenon is very real and it is always a good idea to get in touch with a trainer you trust Determine Your Child's Sports Stressors Do Not Take It Too Personally, But You Can Be A Stressor

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			<span class= Getty Images Jamie Squire

If you're a fan …

"Oddly enough, you make your own mental work as a viewer," notes Stephen. Practice like an athlete. Use the soliloquy to focus your energies on other important things in your life and put the game in context. It should not be the only thing that brings you joy. Plan with your friends, plan with other friends.

Bring the game into context. It should not be the only thing that gives you pleasure. [19659014HattedieAdlerScorDieFansvonSaintshättenwahrscheinlichdenKickerWilLutzbeschuldigtdereinFeldtorverfehlthattealserdieletzteFahrtderEaglesaufstellteDerPunktistdassSchuldeinfachetwasherumgereichtwirdBeidenmeistenVerlustenhandeltessichjedochumzusammengesetzteVerluste-eineReihevonEntscheidungenundFehlschlägeninverschiedenenStadien-diedazuführendassSchuldnichtnurirreduzibelsondernirrationalist

And in the case of Philly Heartbreak last Sunday, remember that the Eagles have not just lost the game. The saints have just won after each predicted metric.


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