Having recently missed the Bears' 43-yard field goal, kicker Cody Parkey (26) left the Chicago stadium under a shower of boos, then death threats and now memes – and all that despite the fact that the field goal was actually tipped on the line and Parkey himself scored more points against the Eagles that night than the Bears' entire attack (9 vs. 6).
Whether Parkey had missed the game, he undoubtedly felt like he was, a sentiment cosmically returned to the Eagles last Sunday when Alshon Jeffery, one of the League's best recipients, allowed Nick Foles to pass to distract his hands and into the corner of Marshon Lattimore: game over. Jeffery was on the pitch half a minute after the game and returned to the sideline, where Doug Pederson immediately hugged him with red eyes.
Yes, it was a tough weekend for athletes. Obviously nobody wants to lose a game due to a mistake (or thinks one did). And yet we were all there ̵
"You will be flooded with these really unpleasant, tormenting feelings," says Lisa M. Stephen. Ph.D., a New England Peak Performance Coach and Licensed Psychologist. "Allow yourself to feel what you feel – the fear, the anger (with yourself, with other people) – it does not have to be reasonable. Feel it and look at what you are going to do . "
So, whether you happen to be collecting points in a field or otherwise sympathizing with the lost nobles, you should get your mind off the playbook and take notes. Your mental health – and even your career – could depend on it.
If you're a player …
Some athletes can stabilize and get stressed, while others may turn into negative thinking, including acute anxiety or depressive feelings, according to Stephen. How you respond to failure determines both current and long-term health and athletic performance. The most successful athletes will face these obstacles while at the same time navigating (1) the current defeat and normalize and (2) position themselves for future success.
. 1 The Current Failure
The first hurtle, after the mistake and anger, frustration and long journey home, tries to put your mistake into context. "Recognize that these things happen to all players in a variety of situations," Stephen advises, "and that it's normal to take part in contests."
It takes some work to get there. First, you want to mitigate as little unconstructive criticism as possible, and instead look for reliable sources of support that you can build, but not wrong. The key is to develop and identify true statements about yourself that contradict negative insight. These findings are beliefs like "I have no talent. I am a terrible player. "If you are an athlete playing at a high level, this is unlikely. "Look at the true data," Stephen says, like videos of you and game stats. Work on a more realistic assessment: "I failed. It happens to everyone. "
Recognizing true statements also helps you to view mistakes as anomalistic. In your head, failure should be the exception to the rule, not the rule itself, says Stephen. If you come to that conclusion, you may even see the failure as an integral part of your game – and even Michael Jordan missed 26 potentially winning shots ("I've failed again and again in my life …" and that's why I succeed. ") Failure can account for some of the most humiliating and pathetic moments in sport – and those that show the kind of competitors you are.
For younger athletes without robust statistic sheets (and even for the elite), visualization exercises can also help overcome fear of play or disappointment. Imagine moments when you've played well when you're "in it" – performing at its peak. Think of this as "success control". (Having fun can be an important marker for those moments, when did you enjoy the performance?) Look, when you've done this three-point shot and ask yourself: How did my body feel? did I think? Continue to alert your brain to these highlights.